Interview with Dr. Sonja Olson - How to Build Emotional Resilience (Before It’s Too Late!)

In this episode of Healthspan Digest, host Aaron Shaw sits down with Dr. Sonja Olson, an expert in emotional resilience, well-being, and stress management. With over 25 years of experience as an emergency veterinarian and a decade dedicated to veterinary wellness education, Dr. Olson shares invaluable insights on navigating high-stress professions.

They explore the unique emotional demands of caregiving roles—whether in veterinary medicine, healthcare, education, or other high-pressure environments—and provide actionable strategies to build resilience, prevent burnout, and reclaim well-being. Dr. Olson also introduces the concept of “empathic strain,” explains how self-care is an ethical duty, and breaks down practical steps for fortifying emotional and physical health.

If you’ve ever struggled with burnout, emotional exhaustion, or the weight of responsibility in your career, this conversation is for you.

🔹 Topics covered:

✅ Why burnout is more than just exhaustion—it’s an emotional shutdown

✅ The hidden stressors of caregiving professions and how to combat them

✅ Practical self-care strategies that actually work

✅ The power of mindfulness, movement, and boundaries in high-stress jobs

✅ Why self-care isn’t selfish—it’s a professional responsibility

📖 Dr. Olson’s book: “Creating Well-Being and Building Resilience in the Veterinary Profession: A Call to Life.

🎧 Tune in to learn how to take control of your well-being—at work, at home, and beyond.

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Transcript

Use this transcript to draft a Spotify description for this episode. Include 3 powerful title options that would speak to both vets and non-vets. Aaron Shaw (00:00)

welcome to healthspan digest. I am your host. My name is Aaron Shaw and I help people extend their healthspan. And today we're going to do a deep dive into wellbeing and emotional resilience.

And I have an incredible guest today, Dr. Sonja Olson, who's an expert in this area and is going to help us, help us navigate this and give us some really functional tips here that we can apply in our life. Let's take a pause for a second and just review what healthspan is. And I'll say healthspan is the length of time within our lifespan that we are healthy, active, vibrant, engaged, really living life. It's more than just being alive and

I believe that I like to think of healthspan being broken down into pillars and give us really kind of a way to focus on things. And so I think of them as exercise, nutrition, sleep, emotional wellbeing, and preventative care. And through my coaching services and seminars in this podcast, I try to share all these tips and definitely bring on people that are brighter than I am that can help share this information as well, which brings us to drum roll.

Our guest, Dr. Sonja Olson, she is from Heartstorming Wellness. Let me tell you a little bit about her. She integrates clinical experience, neuroscience, and mindfulness to create practical strategies. I love this already. To help people manage stress, achieve balance, and foster emotional wellbeing. So that is music to my ears. What kind of experience you ask? Well, let me tell you. She has over 25 years experience as an emergency clinician.

in 10 years as a veterinary wellness educator, speaker, and writer. Veterinarian. Yes. Those of you listen to this podcast more than once or twice or know me, I do have a soft spot in my heart for veterinarians, so much so that I'm married to one. I'm very familiar with the struggles that vets go through, is if anybody tracks this who's not a vet, it's always rated one of the most

stressful and emotionally challenging and emotionally difficult careers to be in. So Sonia is going to help us learn a little bit about that. And let me just give a plug here for her book that she wrote. It is titled, Creating Well-Being and Building Resilience in the Veterinary Profession, A Call to Life. Welcome, Sonia.

Sonja Anne Olson (02:29)

Hello, Aaron I am so excited to be with you. This is great.

Aaron Shaw (02:33)

Yes, I'm super excited. The background story here is Sonia and I met virtually a week or so ago. And it was as some of these like pre-recording, get to know, you know, potential guests interviews or just sort of like a get to know you thing. It was the highlight of my day. quickly I realized that almost there's this part of me that thought I should just say record because it's just like, man, just like kicking around ideas and learning about each other. So.

If you would tell us a little bit about your experience getting into wellness coaching, maybe going back to way back when you started off your veterinary career.

Sonja Anne Olson (03:12)

Yeah, that's right, Aaron. Well, and I think that that's true for many, right? When life challenges arrive, those are the opportunities who are like, huh, what don't I know? What have I got and what have I not got? And I think this is true for many veterinary professionals, whether you're in the nursing staff side, the front desk, or as a clinician, even leadership, those are spaces that they don't necessarily prepare you and upskill you to meet the challenges of the actual practicing environment.

Doesn't matter whether it's large animal, small animal, industry, academia. These are conversations that are evolving. Hooray. There's much more being done in those training spaces to prepare people for, as I call them, the occupational hazards of caregiving. And boy, I wish I had known. I really do. So much suffering could have been at least mitigated, not necessarily avoided, but I could have been more informed, more prepared, and instead,

There was such stigma and such conditioning of our temperament and minds that we would make ourselves individually wrong, collectively wrong, not ask for help, and instead suffer in silence. Gross. And that was my journey. And it was the journey of many people before me, around me, and since. It is getting better, but I am a huge advocate and justice warrior around we can do better.

Aaron Shaw (04:27)

dangerous.

Sonja Anne Olson (04:42)

We do it by normalizing the conversation, by creating psychological safety, by recognizing it's okay to not be okay, because guess what, kids, you're human, doing really beautiful and hard work. So yes, what an incubator for me to figure out, all right, how do I keep doing this job that I love so much and not die?

Aaron Shaw (05:08)

School of hard knocks, right? It's like frontline work. So what's different today about what you are sharing with others that is different from when you started your career a couple of decades ago? Or was it absent completely?

Sonja Anne Olson (05:09)

School of Hard Knock.

Hmm.

Yeah.

It was mostly absent. mean, I think that over the course of the decades of being an emergency clinician, I myself determined that my, one of my healthy coping strategies was movement was group fitness, whether I was leading it, because I am historically a Les Mills group fitness instructor times 20 plus years as well. Yoga, teaching, training, experiencing it. Meditation was newer to me as I was wrapping up.

my years in clinical practice, but boy, what a treasure trove that is. So I find that there and then it fortified me to a degree. I was able to bring it towards colleagues in situ, as they say, like on the floor doing Tai Chi at 3 a.m. But it also was perhaps, you know, just talking to friends and just seeing where folks were at and sharing ideas and resources. And that has just built up steam to where we are today, which is

My goodness, the conversation has shifted dramatically, especially amongst the veterinary caregivers themselves. We're really much more likely to lean in, to talk about, and to get curious about what is it for me.

Aaron Shaw (06:39)

Give us a little look under the hood, you will, for those that are listening that are not veterinarians, if we could kind of put veterinarians in, well, a things. One, maybe share what's unique about veterinary practice, and then maybe also what are some challenges or strategies that are maybe universal to other high-pressure jobs.

Sonja Anne Olson (07:02)

Yeah, really fair. And I'm gonna go ahead and reverse it and just start with what's ubiquitous amongst caregiving professions. Whether you're a teacher, whether you are a pastor, whether you are in human health care or veterinary medicine, you are selfless and generous of heart by nature. You tend to be an empath. You may find yourself putting everything and everyone before yourself. Many tend to be people pleasers. So there's a number of personality traits and tendencies that we make come.

to those roles with beautiful and slippery slope. It doesn't put us in the mindset of giving ourselves permission to put ourselves in the space of receivership and giving ourselves permission or collectively of giving permission to pause, to breathe for self-care. That all seems very historically selfish. So that's something I think that's true of many caregivers.

In veterinary medicine, the things that are unique occupational hazards for us are that we also, it's, call it, you know, many instances, furry pediatrics. know, we are there to be advocates and voice for those that don't have voice. We feel that it is our place in animal welfare around the world, again, regardless of seat, to take a stand for animal welfare. There's a concept called One Health, which means that animals and humans together.

when we work for collective wellness and health, all benefit, including the planet. That's a pretty big responsibility when you think of it. Massive, and we take the oath that we take it very seriously. And so we don't let ourselves off the hook. So there's a lot of, I think for many veterinary professionals where you push, you push yourself quite hard to stay in the conversation because the need is high. And quite like we were just saying, the

Aaron Shaw (08:35)

That sounds massive. It's a lot to take on.

Sonja Anne Olson (08:57)

actual ask is so important. Youth euthanasia is something we cope with. Dealing with the cost of care is something that has always been an issue, but more so these days than ever because cost of care is rising for veterinary medicine. There's lots of reasons behind that. And I think those, as well as the things we've already mentioned.

Also, moral distress is something that does happen in other environments, but moral distress points to knowing the right thing to do and feeling like you can't do it. In the eyes of the law, animals are property. And so that's a very unique space to navigate when there different cultural beliefs, there are religious beliefs, there's all sorts of life experiences that inform

what a veterinary caregiver believes and what an animal guardian believes. And in that space, especially if you add money and big emotions, boy. So when you mentioned that this is a highly emotional space, yes, and that's, I think, part of that cauldron is right there in that moral distress space.

Aaron Shaw (10:16)

Sounds uncomfortable at times. also, yeah, yeah, yes. And I can relate some. you my background, I'm an occupational therapist. I've spent almost 30 years in practice in clinics and seen people in distress, you know, patients wise. And so I can definitely understand the knowing I can do more. Like I have the skill and certainly the system has the capacity to do

Sonja Anne Olson (10:18)

Doesn't it? Right? I mean, I can see you shifting. You're like, you're like, ooh, that feels spicy.

Yeah.

Aaron Shaw (10:46)

more to help somebody, because of finances or XYZ or transportation, whatever, like, we can't actually help another living being. It's a unique.

Yeah, I think it's a really unique thing to experience because it's different than being frustrated about my computer just crashed or some sort of technological thing we were dealing with like, you know, feelings and emotions and pain and having We've all felt pain and that's what we all try to avoid but yeah when you know a living being is in pain and you have a skill perhaps to fix that and You can't for what seems like artificial sometimes. Yeah, it's like super

Sonja Anne Olson (11:23)

It comes to our value. It's our values,

our ethics. It's our beingness in the world is being confronted. And when someone doesn't allow you to do something that you feel is the ethical thing to do, boy, I mean, that is a pretty significant rub. And it contributes sizably to caregiver fatigue, which now we've renamed from compassion fatigue.

They've renamed it empathic strain because that's more neurobiologically appropriate and burnout, lots of flavors of burnout. It doesn't happen just at work. It can happen in your life. But burnout is when you get to a place where on a spectrum, as many things are, you find yourself really not wanting to be in the space of doing the work. You're finding yourself stirred up and dysregulated by the work.

And if you combine that with the empathic strain, you get to a place where you can't care anymore. You have to shut yourself down and close yourself off. and that makes me very sad to think about that's what we have to do as a coping strategy.

Aaron Shaw (12:37)

That's tragic, especially because when we get into the helping fields, there is a very real emotional... Yeah, we're all science nerds to some degree, but we're also very caring and then do... As a defense mechanism or a safe self-protective mechanism, perhaps, we have to put these things up to say, let me be a little bit robotic, even though we're all emotional beings. What would you say has changed?

Sonja Anne Olson (12:49)

Thank you.

Aaron Shaw (13:08)

in the veterinary space in the past five, 10 years, it sounds like you alluded to it earlier, like things are changing. There's more perhaps awareness to it. Do you think that the work environment has changed? Has the work environment gotten worse, gotten better, the stress is different versus it sounds like maybe we're on the frontier-ish of doing more things, but what do you feel like's changed in the industry overall?

Sonja Anne Olson (13:35)

Hmm. Rich question. And there's many things to look at there. I think that what is true is that there were issues that were on our radar and were being addressed, but slowly by the practitioners and by wellness allies like myself that are in or immediately surrounding vet med, clinical psychologists, social workers. There are others who witness what it is to be a medical caregiver and they understood and they were coming towards us.

That said, the pandemic shoved everything forward where the system and the people under strain magnified the dysfunctions and really brought to light how many people were suffering and to what degree and that we could not be complacent. No longer was low action in action an option. People were leaving the professions of caregiving in droves. That was true with Vet Med as well.

People also were taking stock of what was okay and not okay, not just themselves, but their circumstances, the roles they were in. And a lot of people were like, I'm out. Nope, you don't care about me. And therefore I'm gonna care about me. That was new. That was new to have people taking a stand for themselves and saying, this is not all right. We deserve better. We have worth in the world, not just our doing. We are not just grist in the mill for profitability. Ick.

We are actually humans doing amazing work together, individually in this teams to make a difference in animals and people's lives. Amen. Hallelujah. So that is the shift. That is the shift. Now, is it everywhere? Absolutely not. There are going to be spaces that move more rapidly. So if you have, for example, the newer veterinary schools, very progressive, shifting the way they are training, shifting what content is in the curricula. And there's also a

Aaron Shaw (15:06)

Yes. Sounds great.

Sonja Anne Olson (15:27)

beautiful space of conversation around team utilization, really partnering with our nursing staff and our leadership in ways that are more collaborative, compassionate, effective, productive. Yahoo! Great stuff. Then you have other environments which just really can't get out of their own way. Unfortunately, I think many of those environments are being led by people who don't have veterinary experiences per se or have not yet have, I'm being gracious,

the consciousness raising, to see, to see and to say, this is the right thing to do.

Aaron Shaw (16:05)

That's, it seems like it's always, it's always a mixed bag, right? And I think one of the questions that kind of comes to mind is I'm trying to visualize this, you know, is this a pendulum swinging and now swinging in a more favorable direction or is it a total paradigm shift where there's, albeit probably a painfully slow or it feels like a painfully slow shift, but is this what's your field? Do you feel like there's

enough maybe new schools and new programs that are coming up that are like setting like this is the way things are from here forward.

Sonja Anne Olson (16:37)

And it's with that,

with the institutions and organizations that support the veterinary colleges around the world, there are also the veterinary organizations that are really shifting in how they support their membership as well as policies and legislations, et cetera, that impact how we do what we do and how they protect and prepare us and take a stand for us.

One of the big conversations that's afoot right now, we have the bigger conversation around mental health. That's a very big one. But also about diversity, equity and inclusion. Very important conversation, long overdue. And they're all together. They're all part and parcel of being a psychologically safe, emotionally intelligent, compassionate community. That is a paradigm shift. That is culture change and it's happening.

because of individuals who are passionate inside and around the veterinary profession, like you are. But you're bringing things from outside. You're bringing wisdom from the outside to say, have some things that could help. I would like for you to be a healthy version of yourself, and I would have some ideas. So leaning into the fact that there's wisdom within and a lot of wisdom from outside of our profession that could help.

Aaron Shaw (17:37)

No.

That's interesting. Let's break down the emotional wellbeing resilience concepts a little bit and maybe speak a little bit to how this, what this looks like in practice, in punching in, going to work. Where is my resilience? What kind of environment is that? And then also, what about when I'm outside of work? There's the punch in and punch out, but you know.

Sonja Anne Olson (18:23)

Yeah.

Aaron Shaw (18:27)

You're Sonia all day, every day, whether you're in work or out of work. And so we're all individuals 24 seven. Like how does that interplay with what we could perhaps teach or support this emotional wellbeing and resilience kind of 24 seven? Like what does that look like?

Sonja Anne Olson (18:43)

Yeah,

because the reality is that work comes home with us and home comes to work. You know, this is just us being whole human selves and being skillful about that. Right. And that means increasing awareness. means increasing our intentionality, supportive community and open conversations all around this. There's a really cool concept that I revisited prior to our conversation after we talked about emo resilience. Have you heard of that?

Aaron Shaw (19:12)

Mm-mm.

Sonja Anne Olson (19:13)

emotional resilience, emo resilience. So in it, it's a body of study that is coming together from different sectors. So certainly mindfulness plays a large role in it, but so does behavioral psychology and clinical psychology. But you'll smile when you hear the seven main elements to this, because it fits with everything we've been pointing to in what we've previously discussed. The first is self-awareness and acceptance. The second is seeking support.

The third is setting boundaries. The fourth is practicing mindfulness. The fifth, professional development. The seventh is developing healthy coping strategies and mechanisms. And the seventh and last is prioritizing your self-care.

So there it is friends, there's the map and everything that Aaron and I practice ourselves in our lives that we speak about to people we care about and even people that are just willing to listen because we want them to have healthier lives. We really come towards this with such a generous heart and a desire to see people be more satisfied and you know the word happy is a fraught word. I like the word or the phrase that comes from positive psychology which is subjective well-being.

Aaron Shaw (20:17)

Yes.

Sonja Anne Olson (20:35)

It's nice one because it's unique to us. It's contextualized. In this though, you ask how do you bring these tenants in your in-work space versus outside? Well, I think that you determine really what works for you and that means you're going to have to do some exploring, some trying on, some practice, a whole lot of compassion as you figure it out and see what actually works when.

Aaron Shaw (20:39)

Great. Yeah.

Sonja Anne Olson (21:04)

being open to the learning. So when we talk about the change cycle, right, some people know this, that when we are learning something new and it feels awkward, imagine when you were first learning how to drive a car, it felt all sorts of awkward, particularly if you learned on a stick shift, I'm dating myself, I got that, but learning how to drive on a manual transmission, clunky, car was stalling, I was terrified of hills. there's...

Aaron Shaw (21:21)

Same here.

Sonja Anne Olson (21:31)

what we call conscious competence, where you're working on it, it's awkward, it's hard, you have to think through every step. And then at a certain point, things start to just come because you've been practicing it, it becomes a bit more habitual, automatic. And this is the sweet spot in many of our places of life that we hope to achieve, which is unconscious competence. Now, when we go driving, Aaron, right, we're sipping our matcha latte, I might be fussing with the podcast.

Aaron Shaw (21:59)

Mm-hmm.

Sonja Anne Olson (21:59)

I'm

maybe talking to somebody in the vehicle with me. I'm much more comfortable with the elements that are important to pay attention to when you're in a vehicle and you're minding yourself, your safety and the safety of those around you. But this is true in everything that we do, that there's going to be a growth and a change cycle that we have to go through. It's awkward and uncomfortable when you don't yet know. And therein lies the journey. Mindfulness, self-care,

practicing boundaries, recognizing them, articulating and giving yourself permission to say no so that you make really good quality yeses. These are evergreen. These will always be works in progress and they are worth it.

Aaron Shaw (22:41)

Cross the board.

100%. So if somebody, let's take a fictitious person, somebody comes to you and says, Hey, I'm feeling burnt out, feeling stressed. I'm not sure if this healthcare business is for me, whether it's, you know, any type of healthcare business, just cause it's kind of what we can speak, speak to with our personal experience. My work environment is high demands, high stress. Everybody's kind of running around.

You know, there's a sense of chaos. It's not, not that I'm against hard work, but it just seems chaos. Everybody's kind of like maybe saying things in the break room and whatnot. And I don't even know what the self care means. You know, I don't even know what that means. So if, if this person came to you and said, give me a quick rundown. Do I go to my manager and talk about, Hey, this whole place has to change. Do I do that first? Or do you say, Hey, let me just give you a few tools as in.

Sonja Anne Olson (23:26)

Hmm.

Aaron Shaw (23:46)

as an individual for you? Or maybe the answer is do all the things or do both.

Sonja Anne Olson (23:52)

Well, I think that it's no, it's a great setup, Aaron. I think that when it comes right down to it though, the only thing we ever get to really control in our lives and our world is this. It's me. It's my mindset. It's what I am choosing to put my energy and my time into and on. It's where I'm at with my emotional state, my thinking processes.

This is the benefit and the wisdom of mindfulness practices, which simply put is paying attention to what is present right now with compassion and non-judgment. That's mindfulness. It's not a particular practice. It's not certain words. It's secular. And it is available to every being on this planet. There are certain animals, I think, that practice it far better than humans. Go for a walk with your dog. You know what they're doing? They're being mindful.

They are sniffing, are exploring, they are in the moment. And as far as humans go, children. Children are such a great model of what it is, you know, to be mindful in the world. They are playing, they are so present to their unique moment in time experience, the way things feel and taste, what they hear. Wow. So let's look at the models that we have around us to learn. And I think that's an important space also when you talk about where do I start?

Aaron Shaw (24:44)

Very present. Yes.

Sonja Anne Olson (25:13)

You start with you and you figure out for yourself, what is it I need? That's a phrase and a question that we don't often ask or get asked. What do I need right now? And for most people, I would say they wouldn't know how to answer that. That's where it begins. What do I need right now to come home to myself, to be in a place of knowing this is a safe space and knowing that I'm resourced and ready?

to give the way I want to give in the world, show up in the way that is values aligned and intentional. That takes practice, it takes a wanting to do it, and it takes willing to lean into community and resources in a way that you maybe haven't before. When you are taking care of yourself, you are better able to come from a place of deep knowing.

and caring, you model the behavior for others around you, you are impacting your environment for better for worse all the time. So you can change your environment simply by being a better human, by being a kinder human, right? This is true in the world right now. May we please come to a place of just being more emotionally regulated, of being in a place of grace and compassion for our own sake and for the sake of all beings around us.

Aaron Shaw (26:26)

Yeah, role model.

Sonja Anne Olson (26:39)

So I say that starts there, it impacts you at work, it impacts you at home and all the relationships of your life.

Aaron Shaw (26:47)

Yeah, I think that the, when I think of self care and I would say that, I mean, rule number one is like, you know, I'm not going to have any more control over anything than I do myself. So maybe start there to maybe feel some competence cause and effect. Like I can do something and change how I feel. And then therefore maybe feel more empowered to address my work environment or people at work. And when I think self care, I go back to the

these pillars of healthspan, I think could be, and I've actually kind of, you know, coined the term, you will, vet span as well, like for to extend the career of vets, but it's using these same pillars in that if somebody is burned out stress, you know, and even we all have a breaking point. So, but we do want to fortify ourselves to be as durable and resilient emotionally and physically as we can. That medicine is a very physical job as well. And so I think those can

The physical aspect can also make it more challenging emotionally to deal with if you're feeling physically beat down, physically tired. So it does go back to the pillars for me. and can chime in or correct me if you have a different view, but I think self-care is learning good sleep habits. You know, if you aren't rested, it's going to be hard to bring your A game to work and everything's going to feel a little bit heavier on you throughout the day in your capacity to navigate.

the difficult situations of work are going to be that much harder. So your emotional well-being is probably going to be compressed to some extent, perhaps. And nutritional choices, you know, we are what we eat. Well, there's fuel and there's definitely like the highs and lows of caffeine and sugar. And we've all been on the roller coaster and we all have cravings that, man, yeah. And we've all made decisions and continue to do so sometimes where it's like,

Sonja Anne Olson (28:35)

Mood, fuel your mood, right?

Aaron Shaw (28:41)

I should, you know, what my body's craving X, but I know I should eat Y. Like there's a moment of decision that also affects the resilience of the day and how I'm going to manage work and home life when you get back. And if you're kind of doing that. And the last thing I'll plug is I always do is physical exercise. before we, before I hit record, I mentioned to you, I've had a kind of a stressful morning or a few things that kind of didn't go right. Didn't sleep very well last night. actually had a sick dog.

turns out. And so I was a little bit groggy getting started and getting moving during the day. And so I took some of my own medicine from Coach Aaron. said, I would tell one of my coaching clients to just get on the bike, go do a little spin, get the blood pumping and I'll be damned. I feel better for doing that. I think that these, to me, those are self-care things. Are there other things that come to mind when you think self-care? Other things you would add to that or?

Sonja Anne Olson (29:40)

Those are the fundamental pillars, I'm 1000 % agree. And particularly when you are in environments that are environmentally challenging in terms of the physical demands, as you mentioned for caregivers, especially in medical environments, yes. And if you are somebody who also like I did worked in emergency, you aren't typically working typical shifts. You are working overnights, you're working weekends, you're working holidays. Yeah, so over course of time, you've got to get real clear on what your body...

needs as far as rest, not just sleep, but rest. What does that actually mean and look like and create the circumstances? Because Aaron, without that, as you said, there's this whole concept of window of tolerance, what we can be with when life shows up as stressors. There are things that can grow our window of tolerance, adequate rest and sleep, good healthy nutrition to create that fantastic GI brain axis, right, that you and I've talked about.

Aaron Shaw (30:36)

Mm-hmm.

Sonja Anne Olson (30:37)

and also physical movement that suits and serves your body. Everybody is different, but every human body was designed to move in some way. It's the way that we discharge stress. It's the way that we keep our neurophysiology connected to us. So those are the pillars for sure. And I think the other place that I would just maybe just put in a container around it is

seeing that you have worth in the world, you deserve to be healthy, to have a life that you believe is meaningful, that is aligned with your values, where you are getting to do good work in the world that you find deeply fulfilling and purposeful. Yes. So finding that sort of support space, that is self-care as well. Having a really healthy, positive self-regard. And that again, takes some bit of work.

So not everybody is there and that's all right. The first step is always going, where am I on this journey? And what would perhaps suit and serve me better?

Aaron Shaw (31:49)

Yes, those are all great points. think some of the stuff that you mentioned a few minutes ago reminded me of some almost stoicism a little bit, like when life kind of comes along and there's one that sticks with me a little bit. I forget whatever book, I think his name is Ryan Holiday. He writes several books on that. think somewhere, I think this is correct. It says something about like, you the punchline is it just is.

me for as primitive and caveman as that sounds like Sarah, some things in life it's raining out and it's cold out or whatever. And you can love it. You can hate it. You can be frustrated by it. Rain does not really care. It just is what it is. And so we, what we have to do oftentimes with these situations is look in the mirror and say, okay, it is the situation. What do I have in my toolbox? How fortified am I? How, you know, have I been building up my resilience, doing my self care?

you know, exploring what works for me and my competence and my education, all these things, because there's so much of life.

that is out of our control. For anybody listening who's not really sure about that, just pop up on any sort of social media or the news and you'll find out that there's a lot of stuff that's out of our control. It doesn't mean to be careless about that or not, you know, not focus on that, but also I think for us as caregivers, especially, or in high stress situations, the best thing we can do is come in and say, hey, I understand the situation is uncomfortable or challenging and I can't change a lot of the situation, but I can come in

man, I can come in as rested and fortified and resilient and capable and having the capacity to actually do what I'm passionate about. Cause if I can't take care of myself, I'm not going to be able to take care of other people. And if my job is to take care of people or pets or whatever, or do whatever my job is. And if I like, this is what I do to, you know, I have some skill in it and I perhaps I even enjoy it and I make a living doing it. And my family depends on me doing this thing.

man, in order to do that well, I have to take care of myself. So to go back a little bit about, you know, it's not selfish to do self care. It's almost the opposite. I've argued sometimes.

Sonja Anne Olson (34:07)

No,

it's an ethical duty, actually. Flip the script. If you are a caregiver, it is your, and then there's, in human medicine, they are already there. In veterinary medicine, we're coming towards it. It is your ethical duty, as we took an oath, as veterinary caregivers to do no harm, yes, to do no harm, we need to be in a space so that we are capable of being present, of communicating clearly, collaboratively.

Aaron Shaw (34:10)

Yeah.

100 %

Sonja Anne Olson (34:36)

where we aren't going to make medical mistakes because we're so exhausted that we missed something. There's real ethics around this and it's on you. mean, nobody can do this for you. And that's the big piece for some is they're waiting for somebody to deliver it via Amazon Prime. Guess what kids? It's not going to happen. yeah, we have a little side package of, know, sustainable energy.

Aaron Shaw (34:44)

Yeah, it's on you. You have to be prepared.

You

Take an extra large resilience and a little small box of durability. Yeah. Yeah.

Sonja Anne Olson (35:05)

It is Ryan Holiday, stoicism, yes, he's fantastic podcaster and author. And the other piece that goes right alongside that is the tenets around mindfulness philosophies of radical acceptance, where it is equanimitous, I love trying to say that five times real fast, equanimitous, where you recognize that the conditions are unfolding as they were destined to unfold.

Aaron Shaw (35:26)

Good one.

Sonja Anne Olson (35:35)

There is much that is outside of our personal experience and control. And the phrases, let it be, let it go. And one of my favorites, Aaron, right now, it's like this.

That's the one I have been grabbing hold of several times per hour in my life, right? As we get stirred up. But here's the thing, acknowledging that there are circumstances that are stirring us up is part of something called empathic discernment. This takes some practice and awareness and boy, it is a really powerful awareness tool to say, I just read that headline and it stirred up these emotions. I'm physically feeling

My heart going faster, I'm breathing faster, my face just flushed, I'm clenching my jaw, my stomach is turning over. And what do I wanna do with this? Does it make sense for me to continue reading this story or listening to whatever this was? Or not right now, or not at all? You do have a choice. Recognize for every one of us in the world today, when it comes to engaging with media, we are being manipulated.

knowing that that is true and having some sense to go, you know what, I'm taking some control back. Thank you. I'm going to take control over what I want to look at, listen to and engage with when I want to and recognizing the impact it has on you. So really, really great spaces of like what's going on in this moment and what is it to me.

Aaron Shaw (37:11)

Your terms.

Sonja Anne Olson (37:20)

Right? That's what you can have some responsibility around.

Aaron Shaw (37:24)

Yeah, think that there's, I mean, decision fatigue is a quick segue, but there's so many decisions that we make day in, day out, especially clinical, you those of us who make clinical decisions, but every work decision and life decision, what are you going to eat and taking care of your family? Like there's just a bazillion decisions to make every day. And every decision is an opportunity to navigate your self-care, to choose to go in a certain direction. And it's tough because I think that, again,

for speaking kind of as an exercise, you know, focus, athletic kind of focus guy, I guess, doing hard things, you know, very, we're doing, we're accustomed to doing hard things, whether that's going for a hike or lifting weights or riding a bike or whatever it is. It is also hard to resist the sugary snack that's on my desk. It's also hard to resist doom scrolling. I mean, there's a, there's, we're drawn, I mean, there's, you know, algorithms that are like very thoughtful.

You know, not by mistake, do we get stuck in doing these things? And so it takes a strength, a muscle in our head and our total being to say, I'm going to do one more repetition of not that thing. I'm going to therefore do something else because my emotional wellbeing, because my resilience, I know, I think this is where, you know, knowing and doing this is where, you know, I'm a coach. it's, I work with people who are

very intelligent people and know, I know I should eat better and I know I should work out and know like, yeah, it's the doing that's the hard part. Like we're all, can kind of get like 99 % of being healthy, emotional and physical understood is the doing that is so hard. And so sometimes I think trying to just drop another book here, like Atomic Habits, right? Like to make small decisions, one little tiny decision.

acknowledging that it's small, but it is legit. is a decision that you can invest in your self care and whatever that may look like making these decisions at home and at work.

Sonja Anne Olson (39:27)

why checklists feel so good. They're atomic habits. and, right, the other thing that you and I think even we're talking about in our prior conversation was about stacking, where you do something you're already doing and you add something that you want to add in, new. I'm going to be brushing my teeth anyway. I'm going to use this as a moment for mindfulness and reflection. Perfect. Thich Nhat Hanh, who's a very famous Vietnamese monk writer teacher, would say, every moment,

Aaron Shaw (39:30)

Yeah, yeah

Sonja Anne Olson (39:56)

is a moment for mindfulness and meditation. You absolutely could stack, I know that I'm going to be doing a walk with my kid or with my dog, that's gonna happen. Well, being thoughtful about when in the day would you benefit from that the most? And would your animal and kid benefit from it? What else could you be doing right before, during and after? Because that's gonna happen. And if it doesn't happen, this is a really fabulous thing to be thinking about. It's very strategic, life happens.

obstacles occur, barriers occur, and if it's more likely, then what? This is a really huge space of motivation. There's something just as a really quick one. I learned a new acronym and I can't remember if I brought it towards you called whoop. Did I bring that towards you? Okay. Going super fun. So whoop, wish, outcome, obstacle, P, plan.

Aaron Shaw (40:42)

Is this an acronym? No, I'm wearing a whoop.

Sonja Anne Olson (40:52)

Just like we're talking about with SMART goals, just as we're talking about atomic plans, what are you wishing for? What's the very specific outcome you are seeking? What's gonna get in your way? And the plan is if and then. So being really strategic about what's going to get in the way or potentially get in the way, I'm going to. I'm training for a 10K. My wish is to finish it with joy and energy. The outcome is I'm gonna be smiling and I'm gonna be sweating.

and a medal is gonna be put around my neck and I'm not going to have pain. What's gonna get in my way is I'm traveling and I need to have some strategies around how to keep up with my training plan and my nutrition while I am training. If my schedule is such that I don't get to get up at my regular time for a run or I'm exhausted, I'm going to still make a plan then to go for a walk for this amount of time. Really strategic. So...

For those that are listening, so many great toolboxes to reach for when it comes to changing habits and behavior. And it starts with you wanting to.

Aaron Shaw (41:57)

said yes, I think that there's something about not doing something because some external force is indicating you should compared to I really want that. think that there's an identity opportunity and you can surely clean up my language with this, but I feel like with some of the most successful clients that I've worked with are the ones that we've kind of worked through this.

where they are now to where they want to be. And ultimately it's, yeah, it's, you know, I want to run a 10 K cool. That's that, that's kind of a, for some people, that's like the finite, you know, that's the thing. And I did it and then like, okay, what do I like there? I did it. And then the story kind of ends versus do you want to be the person who runs regularly? Who happens to do 10 Ks or five or whatever that is. But when you think about, want to identify, I want to be the person that does X, Z.

Instead of just being like, I want to do X like, no, no, no, be that person, be the health nut, be the one who says, Hey, I'm, I'm leaving because I take care of my sleep. get to go to bed by nine o'clock. got to, know, you know, man, I understand my nighttime routine, but this is how I work. I'm that guy, or this is what I eat. And I think when people can, that obviously includes setting boundaries. And I think that we all know people just going to loop back to the whole, you know, intensity of a workplace environment. I think we all know people that.

almost like they're immune to some stresses and forces and like, oh, so-and-so is a real pain in the butt to work with. Yeah, but so-and-so, this other person has no problem with them because they just don't put up with it. like, is this force field around some people which...

Sonja Anne Olson (43:42)

them the

yodas. There are yodas in our midst and thank God for them because boy what role models of like having I mean they have equilibrium, they know self, they don't get disrupted easily and you just wonder how much of that is nature and how much of that is nurture. I think it's a combo. So boy those are great people to ask what's in the secret sauce. What how do you make and it's it's

Aaron Shaw (43:48)

Yeah, exactly. It's possible.

Yeah.

Sonja Anne Olson (44:10)

individual thing, but they're out there. And those are the role models that we benefit from having in our midst. And, you know, gauntlet thrown, let's be those role models. Let's be those individuals that folks wonder, what are you doing that you can be with this with so much capacity and grace and compassion? Right. And I love the phrase that I use often, because you were mentioning all the shoulds. Catch yourself. Stop shooting all over yourself.

Aaron Shaw (44:23)

Why not you?

Sonja Anne Olson (44:42)

Yeah. And move into a space of, as you said, I love that I am this, not should. That's not a big motivator. I am. And it matters to me because what are the outcomes and the impacts, not just, you know, I'm going to have more muscle tone and I'll be burning. My metabolic rate will be higher and I can eat more hot fudge Sundays. Those are great outcomes. Those are great outcomes.

Aaron Shaw (45:09)

Yeah. Yes.

Sonja Anne Olson (45:11)

And I hope you have some others. So be thinking like that, like that.

Aaron Shaw (45:16)

Yeah.

Yes. A hundred percent. Well, let's tie this into what I like to do at, um, you get to reference another book. Uh, I should put a list of books here that were sort of directly or indirectly mentioning. Uh, one of my favorite books is called the one thing and it is the punchline is making sure that our priority singular, our priority is identified per day, ideally per day. is the one thing I'm to do today that, and I think that the

The rest of it is, you know, what's the one thing I can do today that will make basically the rest of my life easier is the main thing. But with this podcast, it is important to me that we leave listeners with one thing of many, there's many, many, many, many things, of course, but to be practical, can you help come up with one thing that a listener could do today? And let's assume this listener works in a high stress environment.

maybe veterinary medicine, maybe not, maybe medicine, maybe not medicine at all, but they are perhaps feeling burnout. And we could easily say that their emotional wellbeing is tried and their resilience is challenged. What could we tell that person? Like, hey, today, give this a shot.

Sonja Anne Olson (46:34)

Okay, this one is a multifaceted tool. So this is the power of the pause.

So in it, and you don't have to do it once a day, maybe do it multiple times per day, depending on how your day is going. Stop what you're doing, stop. Maybe it's in that moment that you just push back from the keyboard and the desk and you lower your eyes. Maybe you move your body. Maybe if you're sitting, you stand up. If you're standing, move. So do something physically different and disengage from what you were just doing. T, take.

three very intentional breaths. For some, I think that it's just helpful to know that when we elongate the exhalation phase of our breath, we are knocking on the door of our parasympathetic nervous system. And so maybe it's an in-breath for two and an out-breath for four, but something along those lines where you're really oxygenating and you just, are bringing in that parasympathetic soothing of your sympathetic nervous system. Always observe.

Where am I emotionally? How am I doing? Can you name what's going on for you? Where's my thinking? What's my overall beingness right now? Am I feeling engaged? Am I frustrated? Am I feeling scattered? Just really checking in. The O is really taking stock of. The P is two parts. Proceed with a plan. And perhaps in that moment of observing and taking stock of yourself, you notice that you need something.

Maybe you need a Snickers bar. Or even better, a low sugar, high protein energy bar. That's better for you. So maybe you need some water. And for every human being, have you been outside? Have you set your feet on the ground? Have you sensed the temperature and the humidity of the air? Have you seen the broad horizon that human beings are wired to connect?

Aaron Shaw (48:15)

Yes.

percent.

Sonja Anne Olson (48:36)

with vitamin N, vitamin nature, all day, every day. And we don't, but it is super effective and efficient in bringing us to a place of equilibrium, of perspective and energy.

Stop. So the power of the pause.

Aaron Shaw (48:56)

Love it. think everything gets better when, especially in those chaotic moments when you can step away. And I would add in extra credit if you can leave your devices inside while you step outside. I am, I promise that the emails will continue to come in and the social media channels will continue to stay live even if you take a 10 minute walk outside. So that's.

Definitely wisdom, which we should all be doing, which I think that we all need to practice that. Not those of us, including those of us that talk about it, we all, or here's my admitting that I get sucked into the screens and working and working and working. And I'm looking outside the window and I realized I actually need to go outside. I need to stop.

Sonja Anne Olson (49:47)

And

what's really cool, Aaron, is that research has demonstrated that we still benefit from being in proximity to nature. So whether it's looking out a window, even closed, know, a closed window, open window even better, listening to nature sounds, smelling, you know, nature smells, all of those things can be placeholders for a time when we're better able to go out or it's not 10 degrees below zero.

For some of our listeners, the snow is up to the rafters. So maybe there are certain seasons where going outdoors is not so available or your life is such that you've got a baby attached to you. a little one needs your care and you can't go outside of the house right now. There's all sorts of reasons why we don't get to do the things that we wanna do when we do them, but there can be some nice little hacks that we can tap into the goodness of it.

Aaron Shaw (50:16)

Mm-hmm.

100%. I think those each one of those is a, is a decision to be made. And, and I think that the, the wrap up to this is do not underestimate or undervalue even a few moments, even a few moments time, a minute or two, taking a deep breath, stepping outside.

recalibrating a little bit away from whatever you're doing, especially if it's a high stress situation. Nearly everything gets at least a little bit better. You'll feel at least a little bit better, nine times out of 10. So Dr. Sonja Olsen, I am super excited that you took the time to join us today. I am grateful for your time and wisdom. I will leave all of your contact information in the show notes.

encourage people to check out your website and your book. And as a little side note, I know I'm sort of breaking the rules because you're not supposed to say anything related to the date of a website recording or a podcast recording because it's going to live forever, but you and I are speaking at the same conference here in a couple of weeks' time. we're both going to be speaking to veterinarians on emotional wellbeing and resilience. And I can't wait to see you there.

Sonja Anne Olson (52:00)

And this is this good stuff where we get to bring our wisdom towards them from different spaces because we know it works and we know that there are humans that would benefit from this wisdom. So delighted to have had the opportunity to be in this space to share our conversation with the people that have joined your audience and listenership and who knows what other collaborative fun we're going to get ourselves into, Aaron. I look forward to it.

Aaron Shaw (52:12)

Yes.

We're just getting started. We're

just getting started. All right, Tanya. Thanks for your time. Appreciate it.

Sonja Anne Olson (52:31)

Thanks so much, Aaron.